Ten Ways to Stop Fights Between Your Kids

By Brenda Tillman 

Reviewed & edited by Lenny Terra -This blog is supported by its readers. If you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

I’m sure you’ve had the experience of coming into a room and hearing your kids fighting over something.

You can’t even remember what they were fighting about because it’s not important, but now they’re in a full-blown battle! It seems like every time you turn around, there is another dispute going on, and it never ends.

As a mom, I know how stressful it is that your kids fight all day. Here are 10 ways to stop fights between your kids.

Keep them Busy

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It is important for your kids to have plenty of activities in order to burn off some energy. Keeping them busy will also make sure that they don’t fight over random things.

Another thing you can do is give them chores at home, this will make them feel like they are contributing at home and will keep them away from the fighting.

Having a nice family time is a good option to keep the kids out of trouble. You can go out for some ice cream or take walks, the children will like it, and they will be distracted from their fights.

Praise Good Behavior

If you praise your child for doing something good, they will feel happy and want to do more good things, and your kids will also feel good about themselves and know they are doing the right thing.

You can also give them a little reward to show that you noticed what they did, and it is appreciated.

One way that it is a good idea to reward your children is by listing what they have done and then ranking them from 1-10. Then give them a choice of their rewards based on how well they have been doing. For the first choice, you can say “you can pick from these two fun things to do as a reward” and for the second option, you could say “or this one thing as a reward.” In this way, you are giving your kid a choice of what to do based on his or her behavior.

This makes your children feel that their actions have an effect on how things around go, if they know that fighting with other kids will get them nowhere, they will probably stop doing it.

Make Sure Both Parents Spend Equal Amounts of Time with Each Child

It is important that both parents spend equal amounts of time with each child and that they do not favor one over the other. This will take away any rivalry between your children and create a healthy relationship between them.

If you want them to stop fighting, you need to show your kids that there is enough love for everyone and make sure that no one gets left out or bullied around by another sibling. You can also read stories with your children at bedtime every night, this will be fun for all of you, and it’s another way to bond with your kids.

If you want your kids to stop fighting, you need to spend some time with each of them separately.

This way, you can get a better understanding of what’s going on in their lives and build a special relationship with them. As a parent, it is important that your kids don’t feel left out or bullied around by another sibling.

Create a Family Meeting

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A family meeting time is about everyone can talk about their day, what’s bothering them, and how they’re feeling. This will make your children feel heard and valued, they will try to avoid fighting during this time.

What happens when your kid feels valued? When the children feel valued and heard, they will want to be a good example for each other, and this will create a sense of responsibility that they have towards one another.

Another thing you must do is tell your children how they should treat each other during family meetings.

Teach your Children How to Express their Emotions

Encourage your children to use words and not actions when solving problems with friends or siblings. This will give them an outlet for their feelings, so they can get it all out and avoid fighting.

Teaching your children to express their emotions instead of acting on them is important because they won’t get others in trouble or be involved in fights. They will learn how to solve problems with words rather than fists, which is how adults do it too.

Let them know that it is okay to feel angry or upset, but it is not okay to hurt others. Your kids should talk about what they’re feeling, and you can help them through this process.

You can also tell your children that even adults have trouble controlling their emotions sometimes, and other people understand this because sometimes we need a break from each other too. In addition, you can always give your children advice on how to communicate better with the people they are having problems with.

Come Up with a List of Rules for your Kids to Follow

Every family has rules that they need to follow, and it’s important that your kids understand this. Whenever there is a fight, the first thing you must do is remind them of these rules. This will keep your kids in check and let them know that fighting will get nowhere with their parents around.

Have a list of family rules where everyone can see it so when the children are fighting, they remember what’s expected from them.

Another thing you can do is discuss these family rules before starting any fights with friends or siblings to make sure they understand why this type of behavior is not tolerated in your household.

Be consistent in enforcing the rules, your kids expect you to be consistent in enforcing the rules and giving them consequences when they break them. If this does not happen, they will get confused and continue to push limits until someone finally steps in to stop them.

If there is a fight between your children, make sure you handle things the same way every time. Once they see how easy it is for you to catch on, new fights should start decreasing significantly.

Is important that you do not mix discipline styles because this will confuse them and therefore might not work. For example, if one day the rule is “no hitting” and another day it’s “if someone hits you then hit them back”, this won’t work, and either way, the kid who starts the fight will keep doing so because there are too many rules. Parents should be as consistent as possible in order to

Don’t Try to Solve their Problems for them, Listen Instead.

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Allow kids to solve problems on their own, but intervene if necessary.

Give children an opportunity to make decisions for themselves, even if they may not be the best decision at the moment.

Do not try to solve their problems for them because this doesn’t teach anything about how to handle disagreements in a mature way.

Instead, listen until the problem is solved, so you know what’s going on between the two children involved in the argument/fight.

If your kids want advice from you about what they should do, try to give advice in a way that will not sound like criticism or judgment towards the other person involved in the fight.

This will also allow your kids to continue solving things themselves while giving you peace of mind knowing there is nothing more you need to do.

Give positive attention instead of negative attention

For example: instead of saying “Don’t go over there,” try “Why don’t we wait here for him/her?”

This way, your children know you’re there for support but also giving them opportunities to learn how to solve problems without stepping in much.

Take Away Toys or Privileges that are Causing Arguments Between your Kids.

Make sure you take away the toys or privileges that are causing arguments between your kids, so they can learn how to solve problems without getting anything taken away.

For example: if your kids are fighting over who gets to use the computer, take the computer away from both of them for a short period of time, so they can learn that having access to these resources is not more important than keeping everyone happy.

If options and resources are taken away sometimes, kids will eventually understand that this type of behavior puts limits on their own happiness.

Push for compromise as much as possible: this can be hard because you may not always agree with what your kids want, but try to push for a compromise as much as possible, so both sides feel like they have won something and nothing will escalate into a bigger argument later on.

For example: if children cannot share an item together, take turns using the item and then switch over after a certain amount of time has passed. This way, neither child feels like they were losing.

Teach your Child how to Apologize when they’ve Hurt Someone’s Feelings 

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Kids should usually know how to apologize when they’ve hurt someone’s feelings because nothing will get solved otherwise; even though this may sound harsh at first, it’s important that everyone feels like emotions aren’t getting too out of hand.

For example: if your kids are both fighting over the same toy, tell them that whoever apologizes first will get to keep it.

This way, children learn how to apologize properly and also know there are consequences when they don’t.

Kids should know what they feel comfortable saying, so nobody’s feelings get hurt in this process of communication between two people who might not always agree with each other.

Even though it may be hard for parents to hear their kids say no sometimes, it is important for everyone involved in the conversation that nothing gets taken too personally; especially when boundaries are being pushed at times during arguments/fight

If your child doesn’t want to apologize, you can always say something like “I’m sorry you feel that way” but make sure the other child knows they are not required to accept it. This way, both children feel like they’ve done their part and no one has to be forced into accepting an apology if they don’t want to.

If the other person involved in the fight does not accept their apology, encourage your kids to walk away and leave it alone instead of bringing up the past. This will help them learn how to solve problems without feeling like they always need someone’s approval.

If no Compromise/Solution can be Reached, give your Children Options to Choose from Instead

If your kids start arguing over something, try to stop them as soon as you can and ask if they can come up with a solution on their own first. Kids may not always agree with each other, and this is okay, but most times they will be able to find a solution if they are both willing to cooperate.

Getting kids involved in finding a solution is always better than just taking the toy away from both of them and hoping for something to happen.

If arguing between your kids cannot be solved and there is nothing you can do either to help them calm down or take away the problem at hand, it is important to let them know that they can try and figure out a solution themselves.

For example: if kids are still fighting over the same toy after you have taken it away from both of them as punishment for arguing, tell them their options are either to ask an adult for something else to play with or go outside and wait five minutes before coming back inside again. This way, children will feel like they have been involved in finding a solution rather than being told what should happen.

Conclusion

To conclude, there are many ways to successfully stop fights between your kids. I’ve given ten of my favorite tricks in this post and hope you find one that works for you! Do any work? Comment below with what worked best for you. Have a great day!

Author

  • Brenda Tillman is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner, a dedicated mom blogger, and a life enthusiast. She also has completed courses on Parenting Skills, Learning, and Education. She is married and is the proud mother of a boy and two girls. She loves being with her family and pets. She has been blogging for over five years now and enjoys sharing her thoughts on parenting, relationships, health & fitness as well as other topics that come up in life.

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